babies were throwing up all over the place
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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