wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
