was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
