Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize