Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize