This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
