Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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