You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
