i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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