We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize