Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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