official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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