we're blogging at a bar
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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