So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
