Welp...herpes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
do nipples grow back?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
