If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize