Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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