I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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