What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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