I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
