what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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