I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
