No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
