New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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