Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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