I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do herpes really smell.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
