The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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