I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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