i wish peter jackson would direct porn
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize