awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
