like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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