Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
