mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i out mim tonsoeep
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