He is like the real live version of the state fair..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
