Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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