we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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