Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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