Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
