This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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