Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
