I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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