i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
