It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
