Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
