I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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