dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
