I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
