Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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