God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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