Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
