Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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