I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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