he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
