my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
