I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
