your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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