Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
